Artist's Rendering

The Battle of the Century

Saturday, visitors to the bonny shores of Loch Ness witnessed the incredible, but true, battle of two legends: the Loch Ness Monster and Big Foot.

The shocking scene, captured in an artist's rendering to the right, lasted for several hours with no clear victor. After the ripples subsided, Nessie had drifted back into the mystery of the Loch, while Mr. Foot had dissappeared into the woods.

Some witnesses claim to have overheard Mr. Foot demanding money that Nessie apparently owed him. But others feel that jealousy over Nessie's larger fan base among National Exasperator readers may be to blame.

When National Exasperator caught up with Mr. Foot later in the woods, he had no comment. Nessie's agent did not return our call.